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Funny, sarcastic, and Smartass paper cards for every occasion. Printed on recycled paper, they're perfect for people who say what they really mean.

Paper Cards

Merry Christmas- You Shouldn't Be Alone Today. I Think McDonalds Is Open
$5.99
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Merry Christmas- I wasn't Going To Get You a Card But You Got Me One...So Here
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Merry Christmas! You Can Throw this Away. There's No Money in It
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Happy Anniversary!
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Happy Anniversary! Sure, I'd Love To Hear That Same Story Again
$5.99
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Thank You! We're Even Now, Right?
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Thank You! I Did More For You Though
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Thank You! You Could Have Done a Little Bit More But Didn't
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Life Hits Like a Bike With No Seat
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Bad Days Shouldn't Be Spent Alone. They Should Be Spent With Another Unhealthy Eater
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Always Check in on Your Furry Little Critter Friends. Make Sure They Are Eating, Drinking, & Washing Their Ass. Check in on Your Pets Too
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Sorry You're in the Hospital. RELAX! Soon, You'll Be Back Home- Sitting on the Couch, Telling Everybody What Their Problem Is
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Today Might Suck But Tomorrow? Tomorrow Might Suck Too
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Letting Go Can Be Hard. But Reminding People That They Owe You Money Can Be Hard Too
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Life is Short but Love is Forever...p.s I Hid a Turd Somewhere in the House LOL
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And The Lord Replied, "I Love You and Would Never Leave You During Diffic- Hol' Up. I Gotta Take This"
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It's OK To Bail On Shit. I'm Using You As An Excuse To Get Out of Something Next Week
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As One Ugly Crier To Another- Tone It Down a Little
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You're Bigger Than This But I Am Still Better Than You
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You're Bigger Than This But I Am Still Better Than You
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I Know You're Going Through A Lot Right Now. It's Going To Be Challenging...For Me To Make Fun of You But I Will Try
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I Know You're Going Through A Lot Right Now. It's Going To Be Challenging...For Me To Make Fun of You But I Will Try
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Yo-I Know They Gave You Pain Meds and I Was Just Wondering If You Have Any...You Know...Any, Um...EXTR- F**k It! Get Well
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It's Hard Because Mom is No Longer Here. Even Harder For You Because I Was Her Favorite
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It's Hard Because Dad is No Longer Here. Even Harder for You Because I was His Favorite
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This Does Not Define You. But That Haircut You Had in High School Does
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This Does Not Define You. But That Haircut You Had in High School Does
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Don't Give Up. Just Dream Way Smaller
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I Know You're Not Feeling Well. Take a Deep Breath and Know That You Are Letting Everybody Down
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You Can't Run From All of Your Problems. But You Can Run From Most of Them
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Happy Birthday! (The Eleanor)
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Happy Birthday! You Can Throw This Away. There's No Money In It
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Happy Birthday! I Stopped Celebrating Mine When I Grew Up
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Happy Birthday! Let's Not Make It All About You
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You Shouldn't Be Alone Today. Let's Get Lunch! *your turn to buy
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Hey, Twinkle Tits, I'm Thinking Of You. But That's It! Anything More and I have To Charge
$5.99
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